Andorra, Self-Realization, and "Why I threw it all away"

I have a TON of things to write about, so prepare yourself for a long blog post. (:
This week is when Lent started, as most of you probably know. Carnaval is a celebration held in Portugal and Brazil (and other countries too, but they're mostly irrelevant to me so I'm not going to list them all) before Lent, and kids and some adults dress up and there are tons of parties and celebrations. In Portugal, Carnaval isn't as wild and insane as it is in Brazil, but it's very traditional and a special time of year. For Carnaval, my host family and I went to Andorra! Andorra is a teeny, tiny country on the border between France and Spain. The official language is Catalan, which is technically a type of Spanish, I think, but it's different and harder for me to understand. The people there also speak French, English and Portuguese because Andorra is a country whose almost entire economic system is based off of tourism.
So on Saturday morning, we all set off for Andorra at about noon. We spent the night in Zaragoza, Spain (I know a bunch of town's names from soccer teams; we also passed through Valladolid) and continued the next morning to Andorra. It's about 12 or 13 hours from Minde to Andorra, which is a very trying trip if you're with 3 kids that are entertaining themselves by making noise and bothering each other.
When we got to Andorra, we checked into our hotel and went and rented our snow stuff. I had decided to try snowboarding again (for those of you who were there, you know the first time didn't go too well. I don't like not being able to do things). So, 30 minutes and a lot of tryings-on later, we left the rental shop, me carrying a snowboard, size 38 boots, and a helmet.
Andorra is stunning. It's in the Pyrenees mountains, which are very high and are covered in craggy cliffs. There wasn't really any snow until we got to the ski area, which was within walking distance of our hotel, Hotel Cristina. I shared a hotel room with my three host siblings. Monday morning we slept in a bit (well not really, we woke up at 8:30), and headed off to buy our snowboarding lessons, as all four of us kids were snowboarding. We fooled around a bit on the slope (similar to the bunny hill at Sandia) and at 12 we met our teacher, Mattheu. He was French, but I didn't know that until the end of the lesson. He spoke a combination of English and Spanish to us to get his point across, because he doesn't speak any Portuguese, but it worked out okay. It was only after I found out that he was French that I started to think his accent was funny. I don't know what it is about French accents but  I just find them hilarious. I blame Inspector Clouseau. On the second day of lessons, João wanted Mattheu to pull him up the hill, and Mattheu goes "I om not a leeft!" (:
Since last week was Carnaval, there were a lot of people dressed up in Andorra, on the streets AND the slopes. I saw all four Telletubbies, Batman, Superman, a banana, and 2 chickens skiing. And the chickens clucked at us while we were on the chairlift, to our great amusement.
One thing that trying to become Portuguese has taught me is how to spot an American from a mile away. It's really obvious, even when they aren't talking, and I don't know why. It's not a bad thing, by the way, just something that I noticed. Luckily, people don't try English first when they speak to me anymore. (:
João ended up hurting his wrist on Wednesday, so after that we kind of stopped skiing/snowboarding as much, but we got pretty okay. I am slightly out of control on toe-edge (well more than a little), and I fall a lot, but I definitely improved. And I, being the individualist that I am, kept trying to do weird things. One time, we were all going down the slope pretty fast, and I noticed that nobody was going over in this one area. So, I thought, hey, I'm gonna go over there. Oh, wait, there's a ton of ice over here. A few hours later: Hey, there's nobody over here. I wonder wh-- oh. Yeah.

Andorra

Greenwich Meridian!

Crappy Spain picture

Andorra

One thing that I've noticed during my almost 2 months here (*gasp!*) is that emotions are more intense when you're on exchange. Your good days are really really good, and make you want to run around and hug everyone, and your bad ones are absolutely miserable. But, like real life, most days are neither good nor bad, they just are. And school is the same, intolerably boring but still stimulating, because, hey, they're speaking PORTUGUESE. And that moment when your host family starts really feeling like a family? And when your classmates stop calling you"the exchange student" and start calling you "Katie"? And all those amazing moments you have with other exchangers who know exactly what you're going through? This is how to live.
I know that I'm going to have to work my butt off when I get back to the US, but I can't help wishing more than anything that I didn't have to go back to high school. Exchange changes you, and I think I'm only just starting to realize how much. I understand why so many exchange students, after their 6 months or year abroad, decide to get their GED. Because, after doing this, how could anyone go back to school and have everything be the same? Will I be able to go one day without thinking about Portugal?
I can't explain how exchange has changed me. Maybe it's in the way I walk down the street in Minde, and say "bom dia" to random people that I pass. Maybe it's how I now have friends from all over the world that I want to keep in contact with for the rest of my life. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the way I think about the world and the people in it. I realize that this isn't that well written, but I can't put how I feel into words. 

This was written by another exchanger, who is now a rebound, but it is a very good description of things.

"I was the good student, the nice kid, played sports, active community service, yadayada. As of my junior year, it was clear in my head that I was going to graduate school and head off to a four-year college, upon arrival would work my butt off, graduate and then join my peers as a good, working-class citizen of America. And up until about November 2009, gosh darn it I was supposed to do all that. No doubt.

What happened? Well most of you know the answer.

Germany.

And although I could write pages and pages upon my experience I shall let that one word speak for itself.

Because as of November 2009, I realized that I did not, no could not leave. And I fought for it. For about a month I fought with my school in the U.S. to let me stay in Germany and still graduate on time. And in doing so I found a backbone I never knew even existed in me.

So why did I want to stay so bad?

As in exchange student you are sent to live to a country you've never been to before (well most), you get a new family (who has only meet you through emails and a dorky letter you write), a new town, new school, new language, new culture, the list goes on. You can no longer rely on who you've come to identify yourself as. No longer does JROTC, baseball, NHS, or all these things apply to you, you are simply you. What you chose to be and who are you truly are. So what do you do, with nothing to define you except "American" and "Exchange student"?

You live.

Your world is thrown off its axis, your head is spinning, and the moments in which you do not try to cling to your old thoughts and ideas, the world explodes in a freshness that takes your breath away and makes you realize you can never, ever go back to your old life. And those random people that picked you to live with them, they become your family. That random school you got sent to? The people there become your friends. And that random
town of 20,000 people you get shipped off to? It becomes your home.

So I chose not to return in January. I chose to stay in Germany. Doing so probably cost me those scholarships, those prestigious awards had fought so hard for.

But don't ever think I regretted it.

And why did I chose Wake Tech instead of taking out student loans?

So that two years from now, I can walk away debt free ready to begin my life. Not one graduating from a four year school who must immediately enter the work force in a 9-5 job to pay off their student loans. That did not sound appealing to me.

So I admit it. I'm done playing the game and following the "rules". I work to please God and find the best path for my life. That's it plain and simple.

And I guess when it comes down to it, I just want to know that 50 years from now I took every opportunity that was given to me and never looked back.

I want to see the world.

And that's why I threw it all away."